A "bump" in the "Single Grandparenting" Road

This is the feeder "thingy"

Justin below the feeder "thingy

     Got a couple more pictures at the farm. Landon and his friend Justin and I went out this past Sunday. I wanted to pick pecans, of course. Landon and Justin went to hang this deer feeder "thingy" (please excuse JARGON--ha ha!) on a tree. Apparently, this feeder has a timer that they set, which will cause it to disperse corn all around the area twice a day, once right before or after sunup (I forget which) and once before or after sunset. Here are a couple of pictures of it. You can see how high up it is.
 

Picture from Craig's camera

Big "spike"

     Landon also pulled the memory sticks out of the two trail cameras and got some more beautiful pictures. For some reason, Craig's camera took a lot of pictures but they are mostly very dark. He did, however, get about 10 pictures of a spike I think it's called. Landon is going to check the settings when he replaces the memory stick so hopefully we will get some pictures this week.

     Landon's camera got another 700+ pictures. It is so much fun to look at these pictures. Here are some of the best ones.One of the things I like about these cameras is that they record the time AND the moon phase when the pictures are taken.

"Triple AAA" anyone!!

     While Justin and Landon did "their thing," I continued with my pecan tree "exploration." I picked pecans from the same trees as the other day, but got some from one tree that hadn't provided any the last time. As I "roamed" among the trees, the boys were supposed to come pick me up when it was time to leave. However, they had some minor trouble with the "mule" and were stalled for a while. They finally got it going and managed to pick me--and my pecans!!--up to go home.The next day, I spread all the bags on the floor in the family room, compared them, and believe that I have identified at least 4 different varieties--and that's just in the 13 trees on the left side of the orchard. I got online trying to find some information about what all these varieties were.

Anybody know what these are?!!!

I found some pictures with no names and lots of information about varieties but I'm looking for a chart with pictures, descriptions, and names of varieties. If anyone has suggestions, I would appreciate it. Today is a holiday, but tomorrow I will call the local Agriculture Department office and see what help they can give me. It's really been fun, though, to try to figure out just what we have!!

     Before I put this week's blog to rest, I need to shift gears for a moment. After all, my original purpose for creating this blog was to address concerns of grandparents like me who did not plan to be "single" grandparents, who thought they would be part of a couple of grandparents sharing and caring together. I also, however, did not want this blog to be negative and I have tried to focus only on the happy times. Realistically, though, every day is not perfect. Occasionally, there are "bumps" in the single grandparenting road. And this past week I ran over one of those bumps.

     Like a lot of parents and grandparents I know, I do a lot for my children and my grandchildren. And I wouldn't have it any other way. That does not mean that everything is always positive and perfect. I know that it seems to some of my friends and relatives as though I am "raising" my daughter's children; and to some extent I am. Our "arrangement," however, seems to be the best solution to both our situations. Sheri is divorced with 3 children, one of whom is severely disabled. As I have said many times, it was our plan (mine and Russell's) to take care of Anna full time after we retired and to share in the care AND enjoyment of all our grandchildren. 

     Things have obviously not worked out that way. But try to imagine yourself as a single mom, with three children, and trying to do everything with NO help. No one to help you get the kids to their doctors' appointments, or their after school activities, to help with their homework, to help with washing their clothes and feeding them and everything else that goes into raising a family. I know I couldn't do it without help. And I am so glad I am here to help. It does get frustrating and overwhelming at times, and sometimes I reach my breaking point and seem to "lose" it. This past week was especially trying for me because I was ill and got behind with EVERYTHING. By the end of the week, I was literally at the end of my rope. 

     I am MUCH BETTER today; but, I am sure, it will probably happen again. It changes nothing!! I will still do what I am doing and try to always be there for all my family. There are other advantages to Sheri's children spending so much time with me. If they weren't here and it was just Anna and me every day, all day, I think I would be very, very lonely and maybe a little depressed. I talk to Anna all the time, but she can't talk to me. I need those daily encounters with my grandchildren, even if it gets overwhelming sometimes. Also, Landon, who is 13, and taller and bigger than I am, is a big help to me around the house. He can lift and move heavy things, help me with minor repairs, open jars, all those little things that Russell would be doing. In fact, now Landon has to be not only the man of HIS house but also the man of MINE.

     I have realized, however, that I do need more time for myself and that I need to make the effort  to do other things. Last night, in fact, I went with my sister-in-law Brenda to a "drawdown" at the Knights of Columbus Lodge. It was a fundraiser with lots of food and people from our church whom I had not seen in quite a while. I felt a little awkward, but over all it was a good experience. I am also planning to attend a friend's birthday party next week, something I would not have even considered a year or so ago. My sister and I manage to take a couple of trips each year together, and we will be taking another one in a couple of weeks.

     The point of all of this, I suppose, is to say that it took me a while, but I have finally realized that I do need to take time for myself. For the last 40 years, I've just always done everything "social" with my husband, and I have felt too lost without Russell for the last three years to even WANT to socialize. But I don't think I can be a "good" single grandparent if I don't stay "healthy" myself, and I don't mean just physically. 

     I apologize to my children and my grandchildren for those times when I have been too frazzled to handle things. This blog is MY therapy. And I hope that sharing my experiences may in some way offer something of value to anyone in a similar situation. Please keep reading!!