Grandchild Number 3 - Ryan Patrick Theriot

Ryan's first Halloween (He's a lion)

Craig and Russell holding Ryan - 7 mos.

Christmas 03 - Other grandmother's house (MiMi), Philadelphia, PA

Alicia, Craig, and Ryan - Thanksgiving with relatives

Ryan with cousins Anna and Landon at Grammy's house

Most recent picture

Grammy's house-making Christmas cookies

Grandchild Number 3 - Ryan Patrick Theriot

                My son's first child, Ryan Patrick Theriot, was born August 28, 2000. Here is a picture of Russell holding Ryan in the hospital that I love. Ryan was born three years before Russell's diagnosis. I still can't believe the time line until I go back looking for pictures for this blog. As I remember, Russell was still fine when Ryan was born. In fact, as Ryan got a bit older, Russell spent quite a bit of time with him and Landon together.             

                Ryan's mom (Alicia) tried so hard to have him naturally, or at least without having to have  a C section. But he was really stubborn and no matter how hard or for how long she pushed, he was just not going to be born that way! In fact, his parents joked about the baby being a "conehead" because he was having difficulty moving through the birth canal.

                When he was born, his head was a bit "misshapen." In time it was fine, but he still have to endure a few jokes here and there about his head. Once, when he was only about a year old, we went to Little Rock for a wedding shower for my niece. Landon and Ryan went with us. The shower was at the clubhouse of an apartment complex. Ryan was, I guess "exploring" and stuck his head through the wrought iron fence around the pool; and of course, he got stuck and could not get out. It wasn't anything that any other kid couldn't have done, but it happened to be Ryan. Bless his heart, we teased him for years after that!!

Craig, Momo, Russell, and Ryan

                The picture on the right is of Ryan with his dad Craig (my son), Russell, and Russell's Mom Kathleen (four generations) taken the day of Ryan's christening. I love this picture. It was a wonderful day. There is also one of Ryan in his suit the day of his first communion. It all just seems to have happened so quickly! He was so little, and now he seems so grown up!

        Ryan LOVES soccer. He has played since very, very young (love the uniform-those cute little baby legs!); and he is VERY GOOD at it. He is built just like his dad, and can run very, very fast (just like his dad USED to), which is a plus in soccer. He is also playing baseball and football (which is the favorite sport of ALL the boys, even the small ones like Ryan); and his speed is working for him there as well.

                The picture of him between Russell and me was, I believe, taken at Grandparents' Day when Ryan was in preschool. This would have been in about 2004, and it's very apparent to everyone who knew Russell

One Grandparents' Day

that the dementia was beginning to take its toll. His speech was very slurred and, as I think this picture shows, he has sort of a blank look in his eyes. Both of these symptoms got much worse. In fact, it wasn't long after this that Russell stopped speaking at all. He had a deep voice with just enough Cajun accent to be beautiful. I have missed his voice for a really long time. Ryan will be 11 in August, which means that Russell missed a lot of the last 5 or 6 years of Ryan's life. Russell would have been at every soccer, football, and baseball game or recital for all the kids.

                Russell and I did, however, take both Landon and Ryan to Jackson one Saturday morning for a Gem show. Russell had already begun educating Ryan as well as Landon about fossils and stones and rocks and all things "fun." They had a ball! There was one section at the show where you could, for a nominal fee, get a small shovel and a bag and you could dig in a pile of dirt and rocks set up at the exhibit. Any rocks you found you could KEEP. Both boys actually did each find a couple of agates as I recall. It didn't really matter what the rocks were; they were excited because they found them on their own!

                Russell also helped the boys pick out a rock that was cut in half to form two geodes (don't ask me; this was Russell's area, not mine!), so they could each have one as a souvenir to add to their collections. The stones are really beautiful when they are cut with the right tool, as this one was.

                In fact, the next day in the Jackson Clarion Ledger newspaper, there was a picture of the two of them (Landon and Ryan) in the article about the event. We knew the photographer had taken the picture because he got all their information--name, where from, why there, parents' names, etc. But we never expected that to be the picture used in the paper. It was precious, and they were so excited.

                A funny story--one day Russell and I were planning a get together with all the family that night. I was babysitting Ryan that day, and I needed to get some wine for the party. I don't usually go to the liquor store when I have any of the kids with me, but I was running out of time. So I took Ryan into the liquor store with me--I think he was about 3. I had probably five or six bottles of wine in a paper bag, which I picked up with my left arm. I then picked Ryan up with my right arm and proceeded out the door and to the car. About halfway to the car, I was having a hard time keeping both of them in my arms; and I commented that I was afraid I was going to drop one or the other. I didn't really think Ryan was paying much attention, but out of the blue he said, "Grammy, you could put the BAG down." Well, I think he put me in my place; I was so embarrassed! I did laugh, however.

                While I was still teaching, I attended a couple of conferences each year. Russell usually went with me, but eventually he was too ill to go with me; so I decided I would start taking one grandchild at a time on one of these trips each year. I took Landon with me to San Antonio, and when it was Ryan's turn, we went to Atlanta. We did all the usual tourist things--went to a Braves game, the Coke museum, the Aquarium. It was a little late when we arrived the first night, so instead of going out to eat, we ordered room service. Then I took Ryan up to the pool so he could swim. After that, it was really hard to get him to go anywhere--all he wanted to do was swim and order room service. I can't find the picture, but I have one of him in the middle of this king-sized bed, hands behind his head, saying "I LOVE room service"!      

                Ryan is becoming a fine young man. He is an altar boy at church; he makes excellent grades, excels in all of his sports, and is a great big brother (more about that in subsequent blogs).

Grandchild Number 2 - Landon Joseph Little

Six Weeks Old

Thanksgiving, 2010

About 10 Months Old

                                                                                                                

3d birthday party (I think)

About 1 1/2

6th grade class picture-May,2010 

Grandchild Number 2 – Landon Joseph Little

                I remember VIVIDLY the night my daughter and her husband told Russell and me that they were expecting again. I cried immediately—not tears of joy, but tears of ‘FEAR.’ Anna was about 3 years old then, and I just couldn’t imagine going through that again! After Anna was born, we never took the pregnancy, birth-giving process for granted again.

                I got over my initial fear and got a bit excited, but I still had to hear every detail of every doctor’s appointment. It wasn’t until we saw that beautiful baby boy’s face and got to hold him in our arms on March 12, 1998, that we actually breathed a sigh of relief. We finally realized that what happened to Anna was an “accident” at birth, nothing genetic. However, we were still anxious when the rest of the grandchildren were on their way and did not breathe that sigh of relief until those sweet babies were here, safe and well.

                Landon was a BEAUTIFUL baby and child, and is a beautiful teenager—can’t believe he just turned 13! Not just on the outside (as these pictures show) but on the inside as well. I am so proud of the young man he has become and look forward to watching him continue to grow. I love the picture of him with his big sis, Anna. He must have only been 2 or 3; can’t remember for sure. It's hard to believe he will be in the 8th grade in the fall!

                It’s hard to explain what Landon meant to Russell and me. Again, we couldn’t love Anna any more if she were perfect; and taking care of her was (and still is) a joy, not a task. When Landon came along, though, and as we spent time with him, the love we felt for him and FROM him was amazing. If Anna was our heart—Landon was our love. We kept him and Anna a lot so we got very close to him; and, of course, Russell spent more time with Landon than any of the other grandchildren.

                Landon loved the same things Russell did. Russell was a scientist, and he was fascinated with LOTS of different things, especially coins, rocks, fossils, and literally ANYTHING collectible. He shared as much of this with Landon as Landon could stand, and Landon loved it all. Russell used to tell Landon that when he and Grammy retired, they were going to travel a lot. We were going to buy a travel trailer or RV and travel anywhere we could dig! Landon, of course, knew that he would be going along as well.

                In fact, he was so looking forward to it that one day, when he and Russell were shopping at Wal-Mart, Landon noticed some travel trailers parked in the Wal-Mart parking lot. He said, “Poppa, look—a “fossil traveler.” We wrote that down because we did not want to forget it. It was a classic remark.

                We received Russell’s dementia diagnosis in September of 2008. At that time, Landon was 5 ½. Russell had, however, already been sick about a year before that. For the next five years, though, he deteriorated fairly quickly. Russell had introduced Landon to coin collecting at an early age, and Landon loved to pull Russell’s coins out and look at them. Of course, Russell was thrilled to tell him about them; and he usually had a story about how he got each one of them!  Russell had even started bringing Landon with him occasionally to his monthly Vicksburg Coin Club meetings. After he was “asked” to retire early, in the summer of 2004, I had to drive them and just attend the meetings with them (Russell was unable to drive by then). We only went when he could bring Landon.

                During the coin club meetings, members could bring coins for the members to bid on and purchase. Landon asked if he could bid on some coins. We said of course. We were prepared to bid for him had he been shy about it; but when a coin came up that he liked, he spoke right up and bid right along with the other members. It was adorable! None of the coins sold for more than a couple of dollars, and the rest of the club members loved having him there so much, they gave him some coins to add to his collection. He was so excited!

                Russell was from South Louisiana (a Cajun!). Every time we went home (to Gueydan), we tried to take Landon with us. Russell introduced him to crawfishing and alligator hunting, which he absolutely loved! Russell couldn’t wait to retire so he could do more of this with his grandsons AND any granddaughters who wanted to.

It’s still hard to accept that Russell only got to know Landon for less than half of Landon’s life. They would, I am sure, still be so close now and would still be spending so much quality time together. And, since Landon lived with us during the last couple of years of his grandfather’s life, he helped take care of Russell and Anna and still helps so much with Anna.

                I especially love the picture of Landon with his big sis, Anna. I am sure that Anna is one of the reasons he was and still is such a sweet boy.

                I spend a lot of time with all 7 of my precious grandchildren; and it’s hard for me to realize that Russell doesn’t know any of them the way they are now. I forget how young they all were when he first got sick. Even though he knew Landon's longer, it breaks my heart to think that Landon may not remember Russell the way I'd like him to. I hope and pray that Landon has happy memories of his "Poppa."

Grandchild Number 1 - Anna Kathleen Little

Grandchild No. 1 - Anna Kathleen Little

                Our first grandchild, Anna, was born July 9, 1994. She was two weeks late, and there were problems during her delivery (which I will not detail). Long story short, she has severe cerebral palsy. Her actual diagnosis is static encephalopathy. Her little brain just wasn't growing. She was never able to swallow, so we eventually had a feeding tube put into her stomach. This procedure really made things a lot easier--for us and for her.

                It was difficult when  her parents finally brought her home. We were all very scared. I remember one night after we had returned from the hospital when Russell and I were sitting on the front porch in our rockers sharing a glass of wine. I remember making the comment that "I can't do this; I'm not the kind of person who can take care of a special child." I kept remembering that "God does not give anyone more than he or she can handle." And man, was that right!! She is 16 now, and I can't even believe I ever said that.  She is SO EASY to take care of, and we couldn't love her any more if she were perfect.

                Russell was especially good with her--from day one. He had a really deep voice, and we were all convinced that she knew when he entered the room and called her name. She has to have someone with her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The first few years, Russell and I took turns with her parents taking care of her at night. When she was 3, we were able to get a couple of nurses, Sandra (at night) and Lois (during the day). On the days and nights the nurses did not come, Russell and I and her parents would take shifts at night and Russell and I would take her to our house for the whole week-end when we could, to give her parents a break.

                She is a joy; she is our heart. We were told when we left the hospital that she would probably only live 4 or 5 years. She will be 17 next month!  Our original plan was for her to live with us after we retired. Russell and I would care for her so my daughter could go back to school, work on a career, and have as normal a life as possible with the rest of the family. The only part of that that didn't work out was the "we" part.

                My daughter and her children moved in with Russell and me for about the last two years of Russell's life.  Anna's parents were divorcing, and my daughter and I took care of Anna and Russell while I continued to work and my daughter went back to school. I am also completely indebted to Anna's part-time nurses who also helped us take care of Russell. They are both angels. Because of them, we were able to keep Russell home until he died. He was NEVER hospitalized. He had a hospital bed right next to Anna. My daughter graduated in 2009 with her master's degree in speech and language pathology and is now working for a local convalescent home as a speech therapist. I have retired and her mother, the nurses, and I are taking care of Anna and our seventh grandchild (soon to be 2)--I will write about her in another blog.

                Anna's hair had never been cut until the summer of 2010. However, when she turned 16, her mother decided to cut her very long hair and donate it to "Locks of Love, "  (http:locksoflove.org).  We asked her Aunt Brenda to cut it, and she was able to get three 18-inch pony tails to donate.  It was a bittersweet task--Anna's beautiful long hair was shorter now, but she was able to help other children; and I think she would be so happy for that. Two of the attached pictures show her hair before and after it was cut.

                There is also a picture of Anna with Russell when she was about 2 years old. I know you can see the love in his eyes. I just miss being able to hold her in my arms like we did when she was a baby. She is 16 now and weighs about 100 pounds, so it's a bit more difficult to pick her up! She has a wheelchair and we are able to hug and kiss her--and believe me, she gets a lot of that! And I still miss Russell terribly, especially when I think of what he has missed and is still missing. He always said, though, that he prayed he would go before Anna because he wouldn't be able to handle that--there is some comfort in that.

                There is one more picture, and that is of Anna Christmas day, 2008, our first Christmas without Poppa, at least the physical Poppa. We talk to all of the grandkids about him all the time so they will have some memories. And we know he is watching over all of us; we can feel his presence and his love.

                I could go on and on with stories about Anna and what she has and is still teaching us (compassion, patience, sympathy, and most of all unconditional love), but I do have six other grandchildren. And I have some special times with each of them that I want to share. So I hope you will watch next week for stories about grandchild number 2!

               

               

My First Post

The attached is a picture of my 7 angels, though it was taken Christmas of 2009 so they are all a bit older now.They are each unique in their own ways, and I will be sharing that in future blogs. My husband was a wonderful, amazing man; and the world lost a very loving, kind, and unselfish person. I miss him terribly. But I hope I can encourage someone who finds himself/herself in a similar situation--being a "single grandparent."

My name is Pat. I am a 64-year-old retired business education instructor. And I am a single grandparent. I have 7 beautiful, smart grandchildren (actually they're the smartest and most beautiful grandchildren in the world--aren't YOURS?).

I'm sure there are other grandparents out there who thought they would still be a couple when grandkids came and, for one reason or another, they are alone. My husband and I had planned for grandparenthood and retirement all our lives. We couldn't wait! However, when my husband was 57, he was diagnosed with dementia. He lasted for 5 years and passed away a few months short of his 62nd birthday. He did get to know the two older grandchildren (Anna, now 16; Landon, now 13; Ryan, now 10; Luke and Kieran,now 9; Elizabeth, now 7) but not for very long. His debilitating disease took his mind earlier than it took his body so he only really got to "know" the three oldest ones. And our youngest, who will be 2 later this month, was born 9 months and one day after my husband, Russell, passed away. He's missed so much!!!

But wait--please don't leave! These posts are NOT going to be depressing. I am going to concentrate on the MANY positive, uplifting, and inspiring parts of my life--and they are many. I've been so fortunate and have so much to be thankful for and that's what I want to share--that and the humor.

I think I have a lot to share about not only being a single grandparent but also about how to take care of a loved one and keep him home until the end. I also take care of my oldest grandchild, Anna, who has severe cerebral palsy. I will talk about all of this in my upcoming blogs.

I would like to invite anyone to read and respond to anything in my blog that strikes a cord. I am also looking forward to exploring other similar sites and sharing similar stories.


Pat