My "Girls"

After performance

     My blog today is mostly about my "girls." It seems as though I have been writing a lot about my grandsons, but this past week, Elizabeth (7) was the "star." Lizzie is SO active, as are all the kids. She is taking gymnastics, tumbling, AND competitive cheerleading. This past week-end her team competed in their first competition in Jackson, and they won first place in their group. It was so cute, and she looked absolutely beautiful--7 going on 17!!

Megan waiting for Lizzie's performance

  Megan really got into it, too. She could not sit still when she heard all the music. She says all the time, too, that she is also going to do "nastics." She is already doing a forward roll and has a really cute "routine" that she shows us all the time.

Grammy with two of her "girls"

Elizabeth's team with their first-place trophy

"Hi, Anna. I'm here!"

        When Megan gets to my house each morning, one of the first things she does is run over to Anna's bed. She climbs up on one of the rails and says, "Anna, I'm here!!" It is absolutely adorable. She will also, very often during the day, go over to Anna if she has a seizure or makes a sound and says, "It awite, Anna." And she will rub her arm and kiss Anna's cheek. I really think that Anna is responding some, although very slightly. Her eyes seem to dart back and forth more quickly when Megan is unusually loud, which is pretty much all the time--when she is awake.

     I think I will probably start composing a new blog every two weeks instead of every week. Not that there isn't enough going on to post every week!! But we are getting ready to be really busy with our pecan orchard--the trees are really producing this year, and we want to try something different this year, maybe selling them direct to customers (retail) rather than to a wholesaler. We want to package them in 1-, 3-, 5-, or 10-pound bags with our "The Lost Cajun" logo (which we haven't designed just yet!) on the bags. Russell always wanted to do this. He thought we would also make (and sell) pecan pies, pralines, etc.--anything you can do with pecans. So we thought we would give it a try this year.I'll keep you all posted on how our new "family business" is doing. Should be fun anyway. I'm paying the boys (Elizabeth wants to be involved also) to help me pick. It's so much fun. It's a lot like Easter egg-hunting.

     It's Friday, October 28, and I am still working on this blog. I got interrupted and had to go out of town for a couple of days, but I WILL post this one today. Elizabeth went to the doctor yesterday. She has strep throat and couldn't go to school. So today I have ALL my girls. We are having a "girls' 'day in!'" Here is a picture of them. Elizabeth is feeling a bit tired so wants to take a nap, and Megan just HAD to sit on the arm of the sofa. You can see Anna in her bed in the background. This is our "messy" room; I really try to keep the rest of the house neat, if not clean. But this is the room the kids and I LIVE, PLAY, READ, and sometimes FIGHT in so it is usually always a mess until after they all leave in the evening. But it's all good!!

How precious is this!!

     After all, this is what it is all about. I love this picture of Meagan when she is sleeping. She looks so much younger in this picture, but the picture is less than two weeks old. They grow up so fast; I hope this blog will keep them this age for a long, long time.

A "bump" in the "Single Grandparenting" Road

This is the feeder "thingy"

Justin below the feeder "thingy

     Got a couple more pictures at the farm. Landon and his friend Justin and I went out this past Sunday. I wanted to pick pecans, of course. Landon and Justin went to hang this deer feeder "thingy" (please excuse JARGON--ha ha!) on a tree. Apparently, this feeder has a timer that they set, which will cause it to disperse corn all around the area twice a day, once right before or after sunup (I forget which) and once before or after sunset. Here are a couple of pictures of it. You can see how high up it is.
 

Picture from Craig's camera

Big "spike"

     Landon also pulled the memory sticks out of the two trail cameras and got some more beautiful pictures. For some reason, Craig's camera took a lot of pictures but they are mostly very dark. He did, however, get about 10 pictures of a spike I think it's called. Landon is going to check the settings when he replaces the memory stick so hopefully we will get some pictures this week.

     Landon's camera got another 700+ pictures. It is so much fun to look at these pictures. Here are some of the best ones.One of the things I like about these cameras is that they record the time AND the moon phase when the pictures are taken.

"Triple AAA" anyone!!

     While Justin and Landon did "their thing," I continued with my pecan tree "exploration." I picked pecans from the same trees as the other day, but got some from one tree that hadn't provided any the last time. As I "roamed" among the trees, the boys were supposed to come pick me up when it was time to leave. However, they had some minor trouble with the "mule" and were stalled for a while. They finally got it going and managed to pick me--and my pecans!!--up to go home.The next day, I spread all the bags on the floor in the family room, compared them, and believe that I have identified at least 4 different varieties--and that's just in the 13 trees on the left side of the orchard. I got online trying to find some information about what all these varieties were.

Anybody know what these are?!!!

I found some pictures with no names and lots of information about varieties but I'm looking for a chart with pictures, descriptions, and names of varieties. If anyone has suggestions, I would appreciate it. Today is a holiday, but tomorrow I will call the local Agriculture Department office and see what help they can give me. It's really been fun, though, to try to figure out just what we have!!

     Before I put this week's blog to rest, I need to shift gears for a moment. After all, my original purpose for creating this blog was to address concerns of grandparents like me who did not plan to be "single" grandparents, who thought they would be part of a couple of grandparents sharing and caring together. I also, however, did not want this blog to be negative and I have tried to focus only on the happy times. Realistically, though, every day is not perfect. Occasionally, there are "bumps" in the single grandparenting road. And this past week I ran over one of those bumps.

     Like a lot of parents and grandparents I know, I do a lot for my children and my grandchildren. And I wouldn't have it any other way. That does not mean that everything is always positive and perfect. I know that it seems to some of my friends and relatives as though I am "raising" my daughter's children; and to some extent I am. Our "arrangement," however, seems to be the best solution to both our situations. Sheri is divorced with 3 children, one of whom is severely disabled. As I have said many times, it was our plan (mine and Russell's) to take care of Anna full time after we retired and to share in the care AND enjoyment of all our grandchildren. 

     Things have obviously not worked out that way. But try to imagine yourself as a single mom, with three children, and trying to do everything with NO help. No one to help you get the kids to their doctors' appointments, or their after school activities, to help with their homework, to help with washing their clothes and feeding them and everything else that goes into raising a family. I know I couldn't do it without help. And I am so glad I am here to help. It does get frustrating and overwhelming at times, and sometimes I reach my breaking point and seem to "lose" it. This past week was especially trying for me because I was ill and got behind with EVERYTHING. By the end of the week, I was literally at the end of my rope. 

     I am MUCH BETTER today; but, I am sure, it will probably happen again. It changes nothing!! I will still do what I am doing and try to always be there for all my family. There are other advantages to Sheri's children spending so much time with me. If they weren't here and it was just Anna and me every day, all day, I think I would be very, very lonely and maybe a little depressed. I talk to Anna all the time, but she can't talk to me. I need those daily encounters with my grandchildren, even if it gets overwhelming sometimes. Also, Landon, who is 13, and taller and bigger than I am, is a big help to me around the house. He can lift and move heavy things, help me with minor repairs, open jars, all those little things that Russell would be doing. In fact, now Landon has to be not only the man of HIS house but also the man of MINE.

     I have realized, however, that I do need more time for myself and that I need to make the effort  to do other things. Last night, in fact, I went with my sister-in-law Brenda to a "drawdown" at the Knights of Columbus Lodge. It was a fundraiser with lots of food and people from our church whom I had not seen in quite a while. I felt a little awkward, but over all it was a good experience. I am also planning to attend a friend's birthday party next week, something I would not have even considered a year or so ago. My sister and I manage to take a couple of trips each year together, and we will be taking another one in a couple of weeks.

     The point of all of this, I suppose, is to say that it took me a while, but I have finally realized that I do need to take time for myself. For the last 40 years, I've just always done everything "social" with my husband, and I have felt too lost without Russell for the last three years to even WANT to socialize. But I don't think I can be a "good" single grandparent if I don't stay "healthy" myself, and I don't mean just physically. 

     I apologize to my children and my grandchildren for those times when I have been too frazzled to handle things. This blog is MY therapy. And I hope that sharing my experiences may in some way offer something of value to anyone in a similar situation. Please keep reading!!

Makin' Memories

     Well, the weather was so PERFECT this past week-end, we went out to the farm on Saturday AND again on Sunday. Saturday, it was just Sheri and her boys, Craig and his kids, and me. Alicia had gone to Philadelphia (PA) for a long overdue visit with her family. She gets so homesick sometimes being so far away. She had a wonderful time. I know she missed the kids, and I know they missed her. But it was probably good for all of them.

     We didn't plan to cook or do anything too "strenuous." We just wanted to BE there.  After Russell died, I really had no interest in even going out there. I was so afraid it would remind me too much of him. I know it was over a year before I finally went out there. What I found was that, yes, it did make me miss him more. And yet I could feel his presence there and have every time I've been there since. Does that sound weird? Even though it makes me sad thinking about how much he is missing with his grandchildren, especially at his farm, I think that he knows how much they are now enjoying it now. That is his legacy to them. I just wish he could enjoy it with them. Maybe in some way he is. Hope so!

     Last week-end, we sat, watched the scenery, and just enjoyed the outdoors. Craig played football with the boys. The most exciting thing was finding that some of our trees had already started dropping pecans. We picked about 3 or 4 pounds in about 30 minutes. The kids really enjoy picking pecans--which is a good thing 'cause that's "cheap" labor.

     I had planned to go back on Sunday to check the other trees. Landon, Luke, and I were the only ones who went on Sunday. We had so much fun. I had given each family a trail camera this past Christmas and Landon has had his set up for quite a while. On Friday, he brought the memory stick home and we looked at his pictures. He had a total of 795 pictures, and lots of pictures of deer. I am inserting a couple here. Craig got his set up on Saturday also. Landon and Luke wanted to plant some feed in the areas in front of each camera and do some other "hunting" thing to attract deer so we can get more pictures. It's so much fun to catch them on camera! Landon said he could tell there were already new pictures on both cameras!

It's so much fun viewing these pictures!

Isn't this a pretty picture!

This 10-point was the biggest we saw.

The camera caught Landon "baiting" with whatever!!

     

"Brother bonding" at the farm

  Landon and Luke and I also "explored" the orchard and inventoried the pecans, so to speak. I was not sure how many trees we had and I get a call every year from the Agriculture Department wanting information about our harvest, how many pounds we harvested, how many trees, how many pecan varieties, etc. I just gave them guesses. This year I will provide accurate information.

They counted trees for me.

Bags labeled "Row 1 Tr. 1", etc.

     I had always said I thought we had about 20 trees. Well, we counted 33 trees. We only had time to pick the pecans that had fallen from 14 of the trees in the pasture that the horses were not in that day. We will pick from the other trees next time. I had brought some small lunch bags and I labeled each one, for example, "Row 3, Tree 4" and we put the pecans from each tree in its respective bag. It looks as though we have at least 3, maybe even 4, varieties on that side of the orchard alone. I want to find out exactly what varieties we have. Some trees are producing more than others, and I think some of them may just be a little later producing. I think it is really still a bit early for picking the pecans, but I want to go back as often as possible so we can get as many as we can and try to get some money from the sales to continue maintaining the farm.

     I am late with this blog because I got really sick on Tuesday afternoon. I started with a sore throat and it just got worse quickly from there. It developed into a terrible sinus condition. My whole face ached, even my teeth! Then later that night I developed flu-like symptoms. Anyway, long story short, the boys and I had planned to go to the farm Tuesday afternoon after school but my getting sick axed that. I went to doctor, got two shots (it's not flu; just serious sinus problems!), came home and slept for 3 hours. Feel so much better today. I guess the only reason I'm even talking about this is that I think all the time how perfect our lives would be if Russell were still here. There would be two of us keeping Anna and Megan, so we wouldn't be so tied down. One of us could take Megan outside while the other watched Anna, same with taking kids to farm, or anything else. It's what we worked for all our lives and it really would have been perfect! Sometimes I feel I'm being bitter about it; but "single grandparenting" can sometimes be difficult.

     Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't change anything for the world--at least anything that I COULD change. So to end this blog, I have to share with you one of Megan's "performances." She was cutting up one day while her Mom was in Philadelphia so I videotaped her and e-mailed it to her Mom and her "Meemee" in Philadelphia. Megan keeps me grounded, and I'm so grateful to have her in my life. I love ALL my grandchildren, but Megan has filled a void. I hope you enjoy these short videos as much as I did. The second one is even shorter than the first one; she was standing on a stool in the first one and almost fell. I made her get down and she had to "finish" her routine! She is such a ham!!!

     Can't wait til next week's blog!! Thanks so much for reading!!