My Children and their Father

My grandchildren's parents (my children)

 

Sheri, 2 1/2, and Craig, 1 1/2

Craig & Alicia, Ryan, Lizzie, Megan, Kieran

     I said in my first post that my purpose in creating this blog was hopefully to provide some help to other "single grandparents" who were not expecting to be single at this stage in their lives. My purpose also is to offer help and hope to grandparents who are helping to care for a special needs grandchild and/or a spouse with dementia. Having introduced my seven grandchildren, I would now like to introduce their parents, my children. They were such BEAUTIFUL children (aren't they all!!), and I am so proud of the adults and parents they have become. I know Russell  was, too. I also want to thank both of them for all their help and support during the last few years of their dad's life. It was very difficult for them both, I know; but they were so helpful and so supportive to me and were such wonderful caregivers themselves! They loved their dad, and I know they are still grieving, as I am.

Landon, Anna, Sheri, and Luke

                My children are very close (now). It wasn't always that way when they were growing up. They are only 11 1/2 months apart. My daughter, Sheri Kathleen, was born December 28, 1970; and my son, Craig Thomas, was born December 14, 1971. Each of them developed a different but special bond with their dad. They were both here the whole time during Russell's illness. In fact, they suspected something was wrong at least a year before I noticed anything (or at least before I was willing to admit that there was a problem). Some of our friends had even approached each of them at different times and asked if Russell had had a stroke! I really got angry when I heard all of this. I assured everyone that there was nothing wrong with him. It was just stress from work!

                 My daughter, who was studying to be (and is now) a speech language pathologist, noticed that Russell was slurring his words. My daughter-in-law, Alicia, who is an R.N., even suggested that it might actually be dementia. I cannot tell you how angry I got with her for even suggesting that.  I hope she knows how very sorry I am for the way I acted when she made that suggestion. I finally agreed to take Russell to the doctor, thinking finally that perhaps he had had a small stroke. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to get the diagnosis we did!

                I ignored Russell's symptoms, only because I couldn't believe this was happening. There are other symptoms, some of which Russell exhibited and some which he did not. I went online recently and found a site I had not found before. The URL is

http://www.revolutionhealth.com/forums/brain-nerves/alzheimers/89233

 (You'll probably have to copy and paste the address into your address bar. ) The people posting on this site describe some of the same and some other symptoms of this debilitating condition. If anyone reading this blog knows someone who might be exhibiting any of these symptoms, you might want to read some of these stores. I think it helps a lot.

                After we received Russell's diagnosis, Craig went on the Internet searching for any medicine or doctor or facility that might offer some hope. He eventually found a neurologist at the VA Hospital in Little Rock who specialized in dementia patients. Craig wrote to this doctor the most unbelievable letter about his dad, about how smart he was and how this just couldn't be happening to someone as special as he was. He asked the doctor if he would please take his dad as a patient. Russell was a veteran and qualified for VA benefits (for that year only!), and the doctor did agree to treat him. We made several trips to Little Rock during the next year. Russell was put on the medicine dementia patients were treated with--Aricept and later, Namenda. The doctor  had even agreed to try to find some trial studies going on that Russell might participate in. However, after the first year, Russell's VA benefits were revoked; and we could no longer be treated by this doctor.

Our growing, young family

                My daughter and her children moved in with me when she and her husband decided to separate. I know this was particular difficult for her to go through, and she was so brave. In looking back, however, I don't know how I would have handled the next few years without her. Between Sheri, Craig, Alicia, and me, and Anna's wonderful, unselfish nurses, we were able to take care of Anna and keep Russell at home until he passed away. He was never hospitalized, and we were all by his side when he died.

                Craig's family was also wonderful during this time. He and Alicia took Russell to their house numerous times and let him stay overnight or for the entire week-end--just to give us a break. They fed him, bathed him, and did everything else for him that he needed, and it gave Russell  an opportunity to spend some quality time with his grandchildren there. I will always be grateful to both of them for being so caring.

Christmas 2007; Russell was in a wheelchair by then

                We were also fortunate enough to qualify for hospice care and, in fact, Russell received hospice care for his entire last year. The hospice caregivers were wonderful and provided some much needed relief for all of us. I just hope that anyone in these types of situations is as lucky as I am to have such wonderful  support.  If not, there is support out there. Get on the Internet, check with your local home care providers; and don't be afraid to ask questions.  

                I am only including a few pictures  of my children in this post--not that I wouldn't LOVE to fill pages and pages with their pictures! This blog is, however, about "grandparenting" and about taking care of special needs loved ones; and that's what I really want to concentrate on. Feel free to comment or share. I will be more than happy to respond.
     Another good website containing useful information:

http://www.nia.nih.gov/NR/rdonlyres/97ABF1CB-8913-4877-B816-F35CAF126837/0/conv09n4.pdf

 

      Again, you will need to cut and paste this website address into your address lines. If you will do a search for "frontotemporal dementia," you will find much information.